


No Matter What

by Hatswithpompoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Because crying is what happens when bottled up emotions leak out, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Crying Dean Winchester, Fluff, M/M, and this is Dean Winchester we’re talking about, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:29:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28779072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatswithpompoms/pseuds/Hatswithpompoms
Summary: Dean hears a song when shopping and does not in any way relate to the person singing. Or project his issues onto them.In which I heard a song, and immediately thought, somebody needs to sing this to Dean, and thus this was born.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary somebody needs to sing this to Dean, and all the supernatural characters actually, for the message of loving someone, not the gay part, that part specifically applies to Dean. Like genuinely   
> the amount of low self esteem and parental issues is concerning, although it is supernatural so I’m not sure what I expected. But, I hope you enjoy my idea vomit.

Dean meandered through the aisles picking up stuff as he went. Sam had given him a list but it consisted of rabbit food and orange juice so Dean had to get a little creative. He was picking up a pizza when the piano came on. His first thought was that they really should play better music in shops, shopping would be so much more interesting if you could do it to Led Zeppelin, and not whatever depressing shit this was.

_When I was a young boy I was scared of growing up, I didn’t understand but I was terrified of love._

Well, he thought, chucking chips into the basket, at least the guy had a nice voice. It still sounded depressing as hell, unfortunately.

_Felt like I had to choose, but it was outta my control. I needed to be saved I was going crazy on my own._

He found himself listening to the lyrics as he wandered down to the newspapers. Not because he was interested, of course, more because there was literally no way to change the song. He picked up some toilet paper and hefted the basket up on his arm.

_It took me years to tell my mother, I expected the worst, I gathered all the courage in the world._

Oh.

Dean stopped. Was he… reading into this, projecting his feelings. He shook his head and started walking again.

_She said, “I love you no matter what, I just want you to be happy and always be who you are,”_

Despite himself, Dean stopped again.

_She wrapped her arms around me said, “don’t try to be who you’re not, ‘cause I love you no matter what”_

Dean swallowed and dumped the newspapers into the basket. It was weighing on his arm now, a sign that it was time to go to the checkout, no matter how much he wanted the massive every slice a different flavour pie.

_I got a little older wishing all my time away. Riding on the pavement, every sunny day was grey._

Dean grabbed the pie and went straight to the checkout. He threw the stuff on the belt and waited for it all to be scanned.

_I trusted in my friends then all my world came crashing down._

Dean ran out of the shop.

Later, Sam left to get more food because apparently he’d missed a few things on the list. (“Everything Dean, you missed everything”) He listened to the rumble of the Impala driving away and once it had vanished completely he reached over and grabbed Sam’s laptop. He opened a new browser page, and his fingers hesitated over the keys. They brushed over the familiar patterns of words and then in a spasm of impulse and regret he typed in: _I love you no matter what song_ and clicked on the first video that came up.

Then he sat and listened to the entire thing. By halfway through the song there was a uncomfortable feeling in his throat and he was having to blink way more than normal. Despite this he continued listening.

When the singer started on his Dad the lump in his throat became ugly irregular gasps and blinking was doing very little for all the water that was leaking out of him. As the song finished he slammed the laptop shut and threw it back on Sam’s bed. Then he lay down and buried his face in the pillow and tried to calm his breathing. 

By the time he heard the impala roaring outside he had mostly calmed down. He washed his face in the bathroom and made sure his eyes weren’t too red. Then he emerged as Sam came in.

“Hey,” Sam said.

“Hey,” replied, swallowing and falling onto the bed. He picked up the remote and began flicking through the channels like he had been doing this the entire time. Sam didn’t buy it. Probably because the laptop was perching on his bed at an odd angle.

“Dude did you touch my laptop?!”

“No,” Dean said. The channels on the TV were colours and sounds before him, but none of them really registered as anything more.

“Really?” Sam moved his laptop to a safer position. “Cause it sure looks like you did.”

“Well I didn’t,” he told him shortly. Clearly sensing a loosing battle, Sam sighed, went to the little table in the corner and began circling possible hunts in the newspapers. Dean eventually settled on Dr Sexy and lay back to watch.

He had been watching for about 10 minutes when he decided that as much as he loved the show it was the wrong choice. Because it did nothing to distract him from the thoughts now swirling in his head. He blamed Calum Scott for this, completely and utterly. Why did he feel the need to write a song about his feelings, couldn’t he just bottle them up like everyone else.

5 minutes later he gave up and switched the TV off.

Sam paused. “Something wrong?”

“I’m bisexual,” Dean said and then he froze and watched Sam.

Sam nodded, “Ok. Thanks for telling me.” And then went back to his research.

Dean stayed where he was sitting staring at Sam. He hadn’t even turned round. “But…”

Sam put his pen down and turned to face Dean. “Dean I understand that this was probably really hard for you to tell me, and I’m really proud of you for finally admitting it, but I’m your brother, and I’m not blind.”

Dean really thought he’d been more subtle than that, but he smiled anyway and said, “Thanks Sammy”

“No problem,” he answered and then he went back to his research.

The next day when they got into the car it was as if nothing had changed. Dean was blasting music as loud as he could and Sam’s complaining only made him turn it up louder.

“Sometimes I hate you Dean,” he yelled over the music. Then he paused and grinned. “But I love you no matter what!”

Dean rolled his eyes, cursed himself for not deleting the tab, and pretended he didn’t have a tear in his eye.

It was years later, when Amara brought his mom back. As they drove to the bunker in silence he found the song – and the events when he had first heard it – coming back to him. He hummed it quietly, then glanced at his mom. She was looking out the window in interest, watching the modern world pass with interest.

He swallowed. He’d told Sam. He’d told Bobby. He could here them both lamenting his hesitation.

“What about you, how did you do in school?” Mary spoke up suddenly. They were passing a local school, and it had probably prompted her asking. Dean sighed, he could wait, he had waited more than a decade to tell Sam. Right now, there was a lot to catch her up on.

When they arrived back at the bunker it was clear his problems would have to wait because there was blood in the floor, an angel-banishing sigil on the wall, and Sam and Cas’ were gone. He left his mom with a gun and went to check the rest of the bunker.

At the sound of the door clanking shut he turned and went straight back to where he’d left his mom. He trusted her to look out for herself but there were new enemies, and friends, and she didn’t know what either of them looked like.

As if to prove his point she had her gun aimed straight at Cas. He intervened as quickly as he could putting his own gun down and getting in between them. Even if he knew the bullets couldn’t hurt Cas. His mom lowered her gun warily as he told her that Cas was a friend. Then he shifted his focus to Cas.

“Cas?”

“Dean,” he sighed in relief and fell into him. Dean returned the hug and held him close. Eventually they let go, but neither of them moved away from each other.

“Dean,” Castiel said again, “You’re alive?”

“Yeah,” he whispered and then he leaned in again and kissed Cas gently because he had had a shit day and he didn’t think stressing about coming out to his mom would make it any better. Plus this killed two birds with one stone. (The two birds being that he was bisexual and that he had a boyfriend).

Mary didn’t say much about it; she congratulated him on finding a nice boyfriend, and joked about angels watching over him.

Then she’d spoken to Sam properly once they had rescued him from the British men of letters. After that she’d come into Dean’s room, sat down on his bed next to him and looked him in the eyes.

“Dean,” she said, “I will always love you, no matter what.”

And in that moment, Dean knew she would.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, I’m always wondering how characters would react to certain songs and so I decided I might as well write at least on of the many ideas I have had surrounding this particular concept.   
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. (And by that I mean I like them very much and would be very happy if you did both).


End file.
